


I will not lose anyone else to that!

by Dabberdees



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Not Canon Compliant, Pain, after i bullied them with pain, bill potts sad times, i was asked to post this by my friend, oh boy, we're reliving them
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-20
Updated: 2020-02-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:21:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22820911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dabberdees/pseuds/Dabberdees
Summary: She should've dropped them back in Sheffield when she had the chance.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor & Yasmin Khan & Graham O'Brien & Ryan Sinclair
Comments: 26
Kudos: 67





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i was asked to post this drabble

The stomping draws closer, a steady thump over and over, driving Ryan to sprint in away from it. The stitch in his side agonising. His feet hit the floor, stumbling ever so slightly. "Doctor-" The Doctor is ahead of him, frantically looking into rooms, searching. She was right; they should’ve allowed her to drop them back in Sheffield; instead, they persisted, demanded to come along.

And then they got split up.

Him and her.

Yaz and Graham.

And now Yaz and Graham haven’t responded, missed their checkup, and that’s not like them, that's never like them. Graham works on routine, maybe years working on the busses does that, and Yaz? Well, she’s the type of person who prepares binders on subjects. He’s seen her case files hidden in the TARDIS, would’ve teased her over them, but didn’t because he saw the care she put into them.

“Doctor, where are we going?”

“Finding Yaz and Graham, and getting out of here, Ryan.” The Doctor says. "This was a mistake."

There is a noise up ahead, muffled yelling, that drags his attention away from his thoughts and towards it. “Doctor-”

“On it, Ryan,” The Doctor interjects, feet already taking her over towards it. “It’s behind this door-” She murmurs as she pulls out her sonic and aims it at the lock. She pushes the door open and gestures for Ryan to enter before following him in after.

“Doctor? Ryan? Where’s-”

Ryan snaps his head to Yaz, eyes widening when he sees her connected to a gruesome device. “Yaz!” He says, rushing over and fumbling at the straps on her wrists. “What have they done?”

“Nothing, at least not yet, they got distracted by something,” Yaz answers. "It shook the building."

"Probably the Doctor-"

“Have you seen Graham?” Yaz asks, looking around them as she gets let down, arms shaking out the numbness.

The Doctor snaps her head to Yaz. “You’re not with him?”

“We were separated, Doctor,” Yaz answers as she rubs at her wrists. “Last time I saw him he was with the other survivors, they were moving away.”

“The other survivors?”

“Yeah, Ryan, he was with them-” Yaz starts, trailing off when she spots the look on the Doctor’s face. “What happened?”

“We need to-” The Doctor pauses, head darting to the door when the stomping reaches it. “Get behind me.” She says, pushing them back and towards the wall.

“Is that a Cyberman?”

“Yes,” The Doctor answers, fear tickling the back of her throat. “A fresh one, it's been following us.”

“Fresh?”

The Doctor doesn’t reply, too focused on making sure her friends are guarded when the cybernetic man enters the room, its body silhouetted in the doorframe. Its shadowed head locks onto the three of them.

“You’re new,” The Doctor says. “Fresh of the line.” It doesn’t reply as it steps closer. “Not a talkative one? You lot never are-”

It pauses, head tilting to the side, partially converted judging from the shape of its head. There is metal grafted on one part of its face from what she can see in the low light, the other side of its face, fleshy, but bathed in the darkness.

“Go.”

The Doctor frowns before her eyes widen ever so slightly. “What?”

“ _Go_ ,” It repeats, voice twisted with a mechanical sound, but still the accent slips through.

It's nothing like hers or Ryan’s or Yaz’s; it’s southern, Essex if she had to guess, and she hopes she's wrong. She hopes she's really wrong as old anxieties flare up her spine.

“Before they get to you as _well_.”

“Doctor?”

The Cyberman’s head turns to Ryan, hands twitching in the darkness. “Take him away from _here_.”

“What is going on?”

The Doctor stares at the Cyberman before pushing herself away from Ryan and Yaz, eyes narrowing as she stares at its shaded face. Her hand reaches up, pressing against the fleshy part, hearts threatening to burst from her chest as she shakes her head. “No-” She mutters. “Not again, not after Bill-” His skin feels soft, alive, but cold. Unnaturally so. "Please-"

The Cyberman raises its hand, resting it against her arm. Gentle. “Go, Doc, before-”

“Doc?” Ryan repeats, breath quickening when he realises. He rushes forward, shoving the Doctor aside, eyes locking onto the faceplate, widening when a bolt of lightning blooms across the room, lighting it up. “ _Grandad_.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's ya boy back again to emotionally destroy you
> 
> i am continuing this
> 
> hint: i made myself cry at one part because i was listening to sad doctor who music to get into the #mood

Terrified eyes focus on Graham's face, now lit in low light, but still hiding the majority of the change to it. "Gramps-" Ryan says, bile rising. "What did they do to you?"

"Ryan, move away-" The Doctor says, coming back to her senses and shoving Ryan behind her again. She focuses on Graham's face, hating her better vision for once when she sees it. The metal sits over his right eye, secured in place. It covers his ear and runs down towards his jaw and across his neck before connecting to the metal grafted on his shoulder.

"Graham?"

"Go-" Graham answers, struggling to get the word out. "Now, I can't-" His human eye stares at her. "-hurts, please-"

"You're fighting, aren't you?" The Doctor asks, needing to know. "Keep fighting, Graham, I can- I-"

She doesn't know.

She couldn't save Bill. Failed her.

"Fight Graham."

Yaz grabs at the Doctor's arm, pulling her attention away from Graham. "Is he-"

"He's strong, Yaz," The Doctor cuts her off before turning to face him. "I'm sorry, Graham." She reaches her hand back towards the fleshy part of his face, but Graham catches her arm, his right metal hand clenching around it tightly. "Graham-" She forces out, face twisting in pain from the grab. "You're stronger than it."

"You-" Graham grunts out, rage and agony coming through full force. "-need to go, can't fight it, losing."

"Not without you."

"No!" Graham shouts, metal hand throwing the Doctor's arm back. His head snaps to Ryan and Yaz. "Do you want this for them?" He shouts, the fear turning his once human voice mechanised.

"We ain't leaving you behind," Ryan replies. "I ain't leaving you, grandad."

"Stupid-" Graham snaps. "You need to be upgr-" His head shakes, hands coming up and grabbing it. "No!"

There's stomping approaching, coming closer and pausing at the door. "Humans located."

Graham stares at them, human eye furious. "Humans."

The Doctor snaps her eyes to the Cyberman blocking their only exit. She grabs Ryan and Yaz and forces them behind her again, backing ever further away. "Graham, you don't have to do this-" She says, glancing behind and noticing the wall. "-you're still human, you're still you, you can resist it."

Graham doesn't move as his fellow Cyberman makes its way into the room. The metal glints of its body in the low light, complete and whole. "Prepare them to be upgraded."

"Graham-" The Doctor says, voice pleading with the man who was her friend as he stomps towards them. "Please, I can help you, but you need to resist it." He pauses between them, hands clenching in a mechanical whirl. "We need your help."

"You will be assimilated." Graham grunts, stepping closer. "You-"

"You're one of the bravest people I know, Graham," The Doctor begs. "Be brave-"

Graham pauses. "Doctor-"

"You hesitate," The other Cybermen says. "Your upgrade was interrupted-"

"Yes, it was, Graham," The Doctor continues, her eyes flicking between the pair of them. "You still have your humanity; they never took it from you-"

"Failure to comply-"

Graham turns in an instant and reaches out to the other Cyberman, grabbing it and squeezing. "You won't hurt them!" Electricity flows from him and into the other Cyberman causing it to scream. Its voice coming through the helmet in a warbled mess and slowing as it drops to the floor.

"Did he just-"

The Doctor turns and shushes Ryan with a shake of her head before turning back around and staring at Graham's back. She knows he's dangerous and unpredictable—a man fighting for control. A modern Jekyll and Hyde, she supposes, but he's still in there, under all the metal attached to his body.

"Graham," She says, making sure to keep her voice calm and neutral and only bearly succeeding. "We need to leave, together, okay?"

The cybernetic man twitches, head lowering to the floor and staring at his associate.

She edges closer. "We need to go to the TARDIS."

"The TARDIS."

"Yeah, you know her," The Doctor murmurs as she carefully leans around him. Her hand reaches up to the fleshy part of his face. "We'll go back to Sheffield, get you back home in time for those shows you like, alright?" She continues. "You always ask me to get you back in time for them even though she's a time machine."

"Yeah."

"I just need you to rest for the moment, if that's okay?"

Graham doesn't reply, gaze locked on the blank faceplate of the dead Cyberman at his feet. He doesn't notice when the Doctor places her hand on the side of his face. "I need you to sleep first-" She orders, pushing her way into his mind and nearly flinching back in shock from the inner conflict going on, but she holds on, wading through it like it's water. "Sleep, Graham, sleep." She tries again and succeeding when he falls, knees giving out from under him. She tries to support him to the floor, struggling from the sudden shift in weight.

"What did you do?" Ryan demands as he comes forward and kneels next to Graham. "Is he-"

"Not important at the moment," The Doctor says in a frantic manner. "We can't drag him to the TARDIS."

"Why not?"

The Doctor glances at Ryan, reluctant to say why because saying it makes it real. Instead, she turns to Yaz. "I'm going to summon the TARDIS here," She rambles. "She hates me doing it, but I don't have any option right now."

"What do you need us to do?"

"I want you to get Graham into a sitting position and step back." The Doctor orders. She pulls out the sonic. "I'm going to land the TARDIS around him with specific instructions in place."

"You can do that?" Yaz questions as she and Ryan follow the order. It's a strain, every part of Graham is heavier than they both know he should be, but neither mention it, too caught up in fear and horror to acknowledge the state of their friend and family member.

The Doctor nods. She focuses on the sonic. "Step back."

Ryan pulls Yaz back with him, and they watch as the TARDIS materialises around Graham, blocking him from view.

"Get in-" The Doctor orders, her hands grabbing Ryan and Yaz by their jackets.

"What about this world?"

"It's lost, Yaz," The Doctor answers. "Now please, get into the TARDIS."

Yaz and Ryan don't resist, doors closing behind them. The Doctor takes one look around the lab before, searching for anything that she might be able to use before glancing down to the dead Cyberman. She bends and aims her sonic at its head, unlatching a clip around the back and pulling out a small chip. "Might come in handy." She stands just as quick and rushes in behind her friends and towards the console.

"Where is Graham?"

"Checking," The Doctor responds on her way past Ryan. "He should be in a secure room; that's what I asked the TARDIS to do."

"Secure?"

"Very," The Doctor replies. Her hands move across the console, hitting switches and pulling levers. "She won't let him out."

"You said we're going back to Sheffield?"

"That was a lie-" The Doctor answers after a moment. "Eventually, but not now."

"You said-"

"I know what I said, Ryan," The Doctor snaps and she doesn't mean to. "But I can't take Graham to Earth, to do so would risk billions of people."

Yaz stares at the Doctor, her eyes searching the other woman's face and finding bearly concealed panic. "One becomes thousands; thousands become millions."

The Doctor exhales, arms pressing against the console to support her sagging body. "You listened."

"Is that-" Yaz chokes, her adrenaline finally fading away. "Graham would, wouldn't he? He wouldn't even realise he was doing it."

"Would do what?" Ryan asks.

"He wouldn't, Yaz," The Doctor replies. Her voice is tight, coiled. "But the Cyberman would, and at the moment they're one in the same."

"And that's why you can't take him to Earth."

"I can't take him anywhere that humans live because that's how it always starts," The Doctor spits, venom lacing her words. "I shouldn't even have you two on the TARDIS with him-"

Ryan steps forward. "You can't trust him." 

The Doctor stills, eyes closing, and hearts breaking. "I trust Graham, but I can't trust what he's become."

"He killed that other Cyberman."

The Doctor gives a brief shake of her head, gaze locking onto Ryan through the hair shadowing her face. Hiding it. "He didn't, Ryan." She can feel emotions boiling and threatening to spill. "Graham is still a good man."

"What do we do?" Yaz ventures, the wobble in her voice, betraying her bravery. "You said you can help him."

"Yeah," Ryan adds on, trying to match Yaz's tone and missing the mark as well. "How do we reverse it? There has to be a way, right?"

The Doctor's internal voice laughs in mirthless humour, taunting her. 'You promised another one that-' and she forces it down, buries it because she can't fail another so soon after the previous.

"I need to know what was exactly done to him."

"You don't know?"

The Doctor breathes out. She brings a hand to the bridge of her nose and pinches it. "It wasn't completed, when I blew up the power it was stopped, I think." Half converted, and that works in her favour. "I need you two to stay in the console room-"

"We want to help you."

The Doctor snaps her head to Yaz. Eyes scared. "I'm not letting you two near him." She leans away from the console. "I'm not risking you two."

"He's my-"

"No, he isn't, Ryan, not at the moment he isn't. If his control slips for a second, he wouldn't think twice about doing the same to you!" The Doctor barks, her hands gesture wildly. "You didn't hear the-"

"Didn't hear what?"

The Doctor's eyes close, and she slumps against the console, defeated. "Please."

Yaz takes Ryan by the arm. "Come on."

"I want to see him," Ryan continues, and there's rare emotion on his face. Cheeks streaked with wetness. "I can't lose him, Doctor."

The Doctor nods, a bearest hint of it. "You won't, Ryan."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have 'hardest thing is being left behind' on the go as well
> 
> and legit both fics just rip the fam and thirteen apart

**Author's Note:**

> ryan hasn't called graham grandad once in series twelve btw
> 
> also, would anyone be interested in this if i continued it? like, have 13 actually fix it and succeed where 12 failed?


End file.
